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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 06:01

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

What is the degree of influence of Saudi Wahhabism on the modern Muslim world?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.